I love my MUM

haih..

today i made her cry..
i feel i always never watch my words..and it is just hard for me to express myself..

usually my mum's cooking is not that good..that i must admit..but i will still eat or maybe i will eat abit..but i will not comment harshly about it..today..my dad made a comment..

she broke down..

i really realise what she has done for the family and she is really really unreplaceable..
she works hard..even when she is old..and also cook..clean for the family..and we take it for granted at times..she does not complain and i can clearly see that see is really busy all the time when the family is sitting at the hall relaxing..i feel so so so guilty..and i want to make it up to her..

she really really set the bar real high for any girls out there..i seriously feel that..

im so so so crushed..

reminisce-ing

lol..

i miss malaysia already..
i miss my friends..

when i think about the convo..memories start to zip by during my life in TARC..

when i 1st went to my mass call i was a freshie..being moved and ordered like lil sheeps..from being a guest and a freshie to someone that is gonna coordinate it the following year..its already a big contrast to where i am and what i have done in a year..

i think about my friends..friends that i met and cherish. which is thankfully, they are still in touch with me..i miss the time going out with the sisters..haha..its really a pleasent last memory in my college life..

haha..my coursemates..aww those jokers and fucker..my pundek roommate Siva now is just rotting around KL..pimping around..he's really a nice guy though despite his playfulness..=)..

i miss the times i go out late at night..not knowing when i will be back or even in some cases..actually being back to my room..miss the time sleeping over at my coursemates..studying in McD..i love McD..undeniable..really miss those times..seriously..alot has definately happenned in two years..and i love most of it..=)

i miss my lecturers..seriously greatful for them..i never blame them for my bad results..they really helped me alot..=)

i really wanna go to my convo and meet up with my friends..but..haih..

time flies..it really does..i tried to break it down..to why time flies..and here is my theory..lol..time flies just because..we do not remmeber every second of what happened and only remmeber fragments of it..making it relatively not existing or seem like it was just awhile..

i miss it..

I miss Malaysia Girls

I miss em'

damn it..

Willie told me..TARC now has more preety girls..in my heart im like..

FUCK!..

imma miss those gals~..lol..those..girl..nice to see..nice to touch..but never intend to keep..thats what they are for i guess..

all hail sluts!..

Googled

i googled

mojito
Nasi Lemak
sambal
lolwtfbbq
holocaust
proton collider
bmw
sweden
cia experiments
pagan
vatican
constantine
christchurch
university of canterbury

i need a distraction

i need a distraction..

its making me crazy..

its not healthy

feeling

is feeling something that is physical?..emotional?..abstract?..concrete?..

if you feel cold..if you feel scared..if you feel like your in love?..

wad is real and what is not..

or 'what IS real?'..

what we are is what people see in us..agree?..this object that i am pressing on, what is it called as?..a keyboard you say?..why is it called a keyboard?..did you ask yourself?..it is keyboard just for the sole reason whereby we gave it that name..something is what it is because we made it that way..we judged it...

i tell people i am fat..or i am stupid..from the bottom of my heart..i do think about that..some agree some dont..but i start to think wad i think is no longer relevant..its like wearing a nice shirt..we wear it to look good..we look in the mirror wether is it really that good..if you wear it to feel good and know that it does look good..you do not need a mirror..you need that mirror to have the impression as if..you are someone else..looking at you shirt..and how will they react..

savvy?..

Smart Malaysia

wow..its back to BM again!..woo hoo..

i have no idea why..i refuse to believe the reason they give saying people are unable to cope up..

but i just think they are afraid that malay language will sooner or later be no longer relevant i guess..

to me it is just a waste of money..publish new books then scrap it..now making back books in malay..

no eye see..

Summer

Je ne suis pas belle comme les fleurs. Je ne suis pas intelligent comme Einstein. Mais mon amour pour toi est inestimable. A grace a toi, je me trouve et je te trouve.

Ex Tarcian

LoL..

i just found out..my dad's the first batch of Tarcian to occupy the KL Setapak campus in 1979..

he studied STPM..haha..

and he asked me..when i did the Mass Call did i know any freshie?..hes sure i met a girl there..lol..and straight away i thought about miss siew lee..lol

he said..SOT sure no girls..if got also, not pretty..lol..pretty girls are only from SBS, SPUS and accounting..haha..wow it seems true until even today..lol..

Who knows Latin?..=.=

ad eundem statum

All hail Malaysian food

thanks to Nasi Lemak..Char Kuay Teow..Fried food..which i have all these years religiously consuming..

now!..i have a natural insulation system all over my body keeping me warm..

i knew it would be useful one day..eating all those fatty stuff..haha..

eat and shit machine

sheeps..

the power of sheeps..they just eat all the time..and shit..damn it..cows too..

Income Tax

The tax here is sick..

18% to 22%..

imagine earning 5000 and 1000+ evaporates..

=.=

bad NZ bad!..

lol..it is damn damn rare to hear thunders and also see lightning..there is not really rain storms..the skies are most of the time clear blue..when it rain..it can rain the whole day..jus showers..haha..my dad is here 3 years..and he said..since he is here..he never heard or seen a storm..lol..

the skies at night are damn damn clear..the moon is so near and round..and also bright..

the night's skies are filled with stars..so much so that it looks like grains of sand in the skies..

=)

malaysia got mat rempits and ah long and gangster..

teenagers in malaysia like to dye thier hair..look damn colourful..

here..punks like to wear hoodies and baggie pants..lol..i been here 1 month..and i seen 2 people got arrested and hand cuffed infront of my eyes..im like..WTF..got anot..citizens here are more provocative and also not afraid..NZ is not all that peaceful..

update..

lol..i actually did not even go to my own blog..its not like i went to take a peep and decided..'ahh shucks..nextime maybe..' i seem to totally lost interest in it..haha..maybe hangat hangat tahi ayam kut..lol..

okok..heres the gig..

im not studying now ok, it starts in february..im working for my dad in a vineyard..lol..everyday under the sun but but but..fresh air..and an awsome view to come along with it..haha..

things here are still so so so undecided yet..wether or not i will be back in malaysia or not..so im still poking around and hoping for a sign..lol..im still hopeful..haha..and praying..

okok..here are the pros and cons of NZ compared to malaysia..im so so so good at comparing and criticizing..lol..

the policeman here are good looking and friendly but but they are also damn freaking cheeky..they will practically turn off the lights, park at a residential area and just camping waiting for you to make a wrong move..my dad actually kena..and trust me, i was going..WTF where did this guy come form..the worst part, the offense was driving in the middle of an empty road..=.=..lol..malaysia is just filled with crooked cops..

the government here is so so so so so fucking efficient in managing their economy and making use of what they have..-malaysia do things without fucking thinking..malaysia have petroleum and you look where did all our money went..messed up man..

they pre plan an idea for a bout two years and take serious surveys and statistics before implementing them..for gods sake..it took them 1 year to pass a $1million dollar transportation project..newzealand is seriously damn poor..-malaysia, main taruk..million ringgit project is implemented without really thinking..tahu la kaya..guna lah otak sikit bang..

the service here is unbelivable-ly good..haha..i had some problem with my broadband..and i called them to ask why..they are seriously very dedicated, polite and guided me slowly step by step..not only that..they did a follow up 2 days later to ask how was it going and if i need anymore help..haha

well..i heard from my dad's boss that day as we were chatting..i just asked..arent there any tolls here..he LOL and said..'there will never be a toll in NZ, if there is a toll, they will lose the next election..LOL..'-well malaysian government are crafty lil fellows sitting in the cabinet..they are so kind to close down tolls..but wait..they increase some of the other tolls.."we lose this wan la..and hike this wan up..then our pocket wont kering ma..haiyo.."

owh yea..here, if they were to pass a new law, they will have a survey and called election to ask all the residents opinion..if majority says no..then it will not be passed..-malaysia, i feel like the minister is just playing as if we want it..how many malaysians are happy as they are now?

isnt it a very clear indication that people is not happy when your 'beloved' citizens start to leave your country and go else where to start a life?..come on..everyone knows someone that is no longer here and tell you that they plan to start a new life overseas?..

people here believe in education..to them education is a RIGHT..in malaysia, education is a GIFT..my friends that did stpm now are all jus pissed as hell..they had good results but they did not get the course that they wanted and most of them are sent far away..come on..stop that quota bullshit..give people the treatment they deserve based on their capability..its not our fault you people are fucking riding on bikes fucking around are we?..stand up for yourself and dont expect the government to spoon feed you..

stop acting all EMO and unhappy cause we made a real and factual comment..you have so called special rights..bloody accept it and STFU..

'owh look at us..holding banners..(just incase they do not know why we are here)..lets gather together..(make us look scary and united..that will scare those chinese and indians)..wait!..lets wear same coloured shirts..(NOW we are really united..)..now we chant slogans..over and over again..(just incase they cannot read..now they get our point..)..now we wear head band!..(NOW we look like those Japanese kamikaze fighters!..fear me!..)..'

well atleast NZ does not have a prime minister that is suspected to have been connected to a murder case..=.=

well i am not a Malaysia hater..lol..hey..i love malaysian food..i love the shopping malls and also not forgetting those 'mui mui zhai'..thats basically about all..lol..